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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915200">Wisdom</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioactivemouse/pseuds/radioactivemouse'>radioactivemouse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>short and sweet yogs scenes [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Yogscast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Existential Crisis, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Lalna's going through it rn, M/M, Not RPF, Passive-aggression, Sjin's Farm Setting (Yogscast), just bc lalna and sjin are petty, no beta we die like men, this is set after they go back to the flux castle, xephos is just a country boy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:07:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioactivemouse/pseuds/radioactivemouse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Once I was told</i>
  <br/>
  <i>But I liked to fidget</i>
  <br/>
  <i>And miss out on good advice </i>
</p>
<p>Nano doesn't look at him the same after they find Lalnable's lab. Xephos tries to help.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Xephna, Xephos/Lalna, also it doesnt come up but this is honeyphosna, its not written that way but if you must., nanocoffee if you so choose?, you cannot make me tag their real names</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>short and sweet yogs scenes [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723771</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Wisdom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lalna doesn’t like thinking this much. 
</p>
<p>He <i>does</i> think a lot, he’s always got a million ideas in his head at a time or just the one when something really grabs him, but this is <i>different.</i> This makes him jumpy, makes him worry, makes him look for too much meaning every time Nano looks at him and it feels wrong, like her eyes burn through him how no one’s have before. 
</p>
<p>Rythian used to look at him like that. Like he knows exactly what Lalna’s done and what he’s still capable of, like he knows karma’s coming for him and he’s about to take it upon himself to execute it. They’re on the way to mending things but that doesn’t mean it’s forgotten.
 </p>
<p>But from Nano it’s different. From Nano it <i>hurts.</i> He loves Nano and he trusts Nano and it eats at him to know she can’t trust him the same. 
</p>
<p>Lalna’s done a lot wrong in his short life, (An awful, awful lot. He tries to find forgiveness through Rythian and even when his more dangerous impulses still tug at him he resolves himself to not be that person again.) he causes collateral damage without giving it a second thought, but nothing like <i>whatever</i> was happening in that lab beneath his castle. He’s not sad to see the place go. Morality has never been Lalna’s strong suit but even if they could get rid of all the flux he doesn’t think he could live there again knowing what he does now.
	</p>
<p>So he won’t think about it.
	</p>
<p>He distracts himself with half-finished machines that never keep his attention for long and tries to pick thaumcraft back up (Even when he wasn’t eager to get back to it in the first place. He’ll use magic when it’s convenient but it’s a finicky thing, he doesn’t know it’s ins and outs the way he knows science.) because teaching Nano something new will make her stop looking at him like <i>that</i>. He likes feeling like nothing’s changed for a bit. 
	</p>
<p>And he talks to Xephos.
	</p>
<p>It’s odd to be at Sjin’s farm more often, when he and Nano aren’t scheming and stealing from him and whatnot. But it’s where Xephos seems to stay nowadays, for whatever reason. (He does get it, maybe a little. It’s quiet out here save for the comforting hum of the barn’s machinery, and Xephos had always gotten overwhelmed by all the tech in the era of factories and rockets. Lalna loves sharing his science but Xephos is a country boy through and through.) For all their history back in the Tekkit world they have an odd friendship going here, now that the whole Sipsco and Honeydew Inc. thing has been sorted. Lalna might not like Sjin but he <i>does</i> like his boyfriend, and so does Sjin, by the looks of it, so they put up with each other and pretend they aren’t plotting to demolish one another a second time, play nice until Xephos’ back is turned.
	</p>
<p>He sits on their porch steps and fidgets with one of the storage drives just <i>will not</i> cooperate with him and tries to pretend he isn’t avoiding going home. 
	</p>
<p>He can hear the two of them inside their house, mapping out plans for something or other, probably, even if he can’t make out much of what they’re saying. (Though half of it would probably fly over his head even if he could hear them. He does a little maintenance on it every now and then but the garden has always been Nano’s.) 
	</p>
<p>It’s a while of back and forth before Sjin exits holding a rather large crate of something, he’s not sure what and he doesn’t really care, clearly struggling with it. (Lalna managed to gain himself a little bit of strength from so long hauling heavy machinery around at the Jaffa Factory. Sjin, evidently, did not.) He shuffles awkwardly around Lalna on the stairs and “accidentally” kicks him in the shoulder. It’s worth it to see Sjin flumble to keep his balance when Lalna trips him. 
	</p>
<p>He carries on with a huff, though, and Xephos is close behind. Xephos does stop for him, though, sets the machine he’s carrying (Lalna’s not familiar with it but it’s a dinky little thing with lots of hoses.) down and joins him on the steps.
	</p>
<p>“I’ll be there in a bit, Sjin!” He calls out after his partner. “Just give me a second?”
	</p>
<p>Something in Sjin stiffens and it takes an effort not to snort when he straight up pouts in their general direction. “Right, then,” He answers, expression forcing itself into a smile. “I’ll meet you over by the tomatoes?”
	</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ll catch up with you.” Xephos either doesn’t notice or, and he’s willing to bet it’s the latter, he’s just being polite. Lalna loves him to death but sometimes Xephos talks in circles to keep conflict away like no one else. 
	</p>
<p>Sjin pretends he isn’t stomping off and Lalna pretends he isn’t trying not to laugh. 
	</p>
<p>“It’s nice out here,” Lalna says once Sjin’s out of sight, rounding the corner of the barn. “Quiet. I can see why you like it.”
	</p>
<p>“It is.” Xephos smiles to himself. “Not that I don’t miss living with you and Honeydew.”
	</p>
<p>“Ah, so maybe that’s why it’s so quiet.”
	</p>
<p>Xephos laughs at that, shoulders shaking and face crinkling prettily. He loves Xephos in all his forms but he’ll never tire of seeing his edges soften. “Maybe, yes.”
	</p>
<p>Lalna lets himself lean into Xephos’ side as the conversation lulls.
	</p>
<p>He is glad Xephos is happy here, really, but this place makes him fidgety, makes him itch for his machines and makes him restless with the need to do something. 
	</p>
<p>“I know what you mean, though.” He speaks up again, eventually. “It’s nice, living with Nano. PandaLabs is… small, for now. But it’s nice.”
	</p>
<p>“I think we all needed a change of pace,” One of Xephos’ hands winds itself into Lalna’s hair and he sighs into his gentle touches. Lalna’s affectionate but Xephos knows how to make him melt. “Maybe a change of company, too, if we’re honest.”
	</p>
<p>“Mm, yeah.” Lalna says. “I like Nano.”
	</p>
<p>“She seems like she’s good for you.”
	</p>
<p>“She is,” He answers, fond. “Keeps me on track. Mostly. And when she doesn’t going off the rails with her is <i>fun</i>.”
	</p>
<p>“The two of you are a force to be reckoned with, I swear.” Xephos laughs. “You know, she was here the other day? She did <i>something</i>, but I’m not sure what.”
	</p>
<p>“Did she?” Lalna says, like he hadn’t been on headset for the whole ordeal with Xephos’ blood. The two of them don’t have any real use for it but that was funny and Xephos is such a sucker. “I’ll ask her about it.”
	</p>
<p>“That’d be nice, if you could.” Xephos sighs. “I’m a bit worried, to be honest.”
	</p>
<p>Lalna feels a bit bad, then, but he doubts telling him she stole his blood for voodoo would ease his mind right now.
	</p>
<p>“Well, aside from all that,” Lalna moves on, quickly, because he can play dumb but he’s always been a terrible liar. “She’s good company, even if things are weird right now.”
	</p>
<p>“Yes,” Xephos’ voice softens again, a note of what almost sounds like pity to it. “I am sorry about your castle. It’s a shame.”
	</p>
<p>“I’m not too torn up about it, to be honest?” He answers. “It's just the whole- you know. I <i>didn’t</i> build that lab, Xephos, I would have remembered it. I wouldn’t <i>do</i> that. She doesn’t believe me.”
	</p>
<p>“I do, for what it’s worth.” Xephos answers, gentle. “But she’s- Lalna, you know why she’s worried.”
	</p>
<p>“I know, it’s just- it’s so <i>frustrating</i>. I don’t know any more about this than she does, I don’t know how I’m supposed to explain anything.” He doesn’t want to know anything more, to be honest. He should, and he will, go looking for answers to all this, but he doesn’t like it. The way he came into the world was <i>strange</i> and he knows it but he's always been fine with that because he’s here now. He doesn’t like the idea that he comes from something horrible. “I don’t want her thinking I’m someone I’m not.”
	</p>
<p>“Then tell her that.” Xephos’ voice dips into that tone where he’s trying not to sound like he’s lecturing you. “I mean- <i>really</i> tell her. I know you’ve been trying to convince her that you don’t know what any of this Lalnable business is about but that’s different. Tell her that you’re your own person and that’s important to you. I know that’s obvious to you, Lalna, but not everyone understands that right away.”
	</p>
<p>“What if she doesn’t get it?”
	</p>
<p>“And what if she does?” Xephos sighs, taking Lalna’s hand in his own. “I know this isn’t an easy thing for you to talk about. But avoiding it isn’t going to help anything.”
	</p>
<p>Lalna sits on that for a long moment. Xephos is right, he’s objectively right, but… ugh. That doesn’t mean Lalna likes it. 
	</p>
<p>“Yeah,” He answers, eventually. “Yeah, I probably should explain a few things, then.”
	</p>
<p>“You don’t have to do it before you’re ready, though.”
	</p>
<p>“No, it’s-” Lalna sighs and sits himself upright, giving a half hearted squeeze to Xephos’ hand. “If I don’t do it now I never will. I’ve put it off long enough anyway.”
	</p>
<p>“Right then,” Xephos stands, holding a hand out to help Lalna up. “I believe I’ve got a farm to work on and you’ve got an apprentice to talk to.”
	</p>
<p>“Alright,” Lalna smiles as he takes Xephos’ hand, being hauled to his feet. He leans up on his toes to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you.”
	</p>
<p>“I’m here if you need me.” Xephos answers, planting a kiss on Lalna’s forehead. “Good luck, my Lalna.”</p>
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